Of late, there is a rush of self-improvement movements calling themselves as spiritual movements. These movements focus on values like Non-violence, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Focus, Contentment, Detachment, Self-restraint, Silence, Love etc calling them as spiritual values. I myself teach most of them believing that I am teaching hardcore spirituality. But I have lately been wondering if it’s true.
Silence and Spontaneity seem to be opposite ends of the spectrum. I am in love with both and would love for myself to harmonize them. But is it possible in the first place?
When I wake up, just like others, my awareness is at a low. Ironically I find it easier to be myself during these times. There is nobody looking upon me from a watch-tower. Because my own self-aware self is absent. I am under nobody’s radar. There is no productive/unproductive or worthwhile/not worthwhile tag as applied to my actions. I can crack jokes at length (oblivious of any time management) and blabber away to glory with my little one. The watcher and the commenter are not home. There is nobody telling me what to do and what not to do.
I am a yogi, a modern-day yogi, a truth-seeker at heart. To seek truth is my innermost inspiration. I try to understand life – at the visceral as well as the intellectual level. I seek to get to the bottom of things. I seek to grow and be a better human being. I seek to serve. I seek to become like the many enlightened masters whom I cherish and revere.
On the other hand, I have a passion and a matched talent. I am a gifted orator. I enjoy playing with ideas and words, as if it is a sport. To express this aspect of my authentic self, I conduct trainings. I get a lot of love from my students because I almost mother them and facilitate many breakthroughs in their lives. I get a lot of adulation as well and get hooked to it. It becomes tricky here. I am on a quest to defeat my dependence on recognition. But my well-received trainings only reinforce it. Until I become aware, time and again. Until I rise after every tripping and trudge my way back to non-attachment to recognition.